The journey to finding love, finding great love can often be long, unpredictable and frustrating. Often, I catch the kid in myself asking “Are we there yet?”
If you’re a great believer in love such as myself, you will have no doubt experienced the set-backs, the dates that seemed so amazing and made your heart flip; yet led to no where, the people who you felt you really had connection (true connection) with; but never contacted you back, the people who you felt you could really be yourself with, turn around as soon as you open your heart.
Yep, trust me, I’ve been there, this year more than other years. But I still have hope, and I believe you can too.
If you think about it, the dating world is changing rapidly. The old ‘you get the movie tickets, I’ll get the popcorn’ dates no longer exist, or even if they do, the people are most likely from a generation different to today’s. Today, the shift in dating has moved more to social media, to text, to ‘let’s get a drink after work’. It’s more focused on flexibility, and casualty, rather than 1-1s and privacy. Look at the couple next to you, they’re most likely on their phones.
While this change has cultivated a culture of ‘speed dating’ and dating more than 1 person at once, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Fear not, we can actually thrive in this environment, let me explain.
In order to increase our chances of finding great love, we must increase the potential number of candidates. That means, getting out there in the ‘fast-paced’ dating world and date as many people as you can, from as many different backgrounds, culture. This not only increases our knowledge, but it also teaches us how to effectively communicate with people in this multicultural society.
See it not as ‘dating many people at once’, but rather what I like to call ‘Sampling the freebies’. Have you ever gone to the supermarket and the sales rep is introducing a new product (let’s say a new biscuit range), and offers you a few flavours to try. You try, and there might be one flavour you like, others that gross you out, or there may be non that you like. So you can choose to either purchase, or walk away, or even the option of ‘I’ll think about it…’ You see, this is the same in dating.
You must try the samples in the dating pool. However, in the same way that you know you don’t have to commit, don’t think that other people must commit to you either. In some-what similar way, just as people have different taste preferences when it comes to food, they also have different ‘tastes’ when it comes to dating. Qualities you like in yourself might not be qualities others like in you. Don’t be discouraged by this fact. It is life and it is actually a great determinant. Think about it, would you want to date someone who didn’t put you as first preference? (I hope not).
Ultimately, my point is this. Continue putting yourselves out there my friends… don’t do it with the expectation to find great love (at least not at first), but do it to expand your perception, your knowledge and your ability to socialise with people from diverse backgrounds.
Do it because you are a student of life; and you are curious about this wonderful world that we live in.